Climate Hootenanny Redux

With thanks to “geoffchambers” in comments at Bishop Hill Blog regarding the tyrrany of Greenthinking in the post Milibandias,

(with apologies to WS Gilbert:)

I am the very model of a modern climatologist
I’m partly statistian, partly palaeo-phrenologist
I’ve temperature readings from thermometers coniferous
my data are the same (or not, well, maybe) as Keith Briffa has
I bought them from a bloke who brought them hotfoot from Siberia
and mixed them with some algae from the mud in Lake Superior.
When counting different isotopes I’m really in my element
and sucking up to journalists from Guardian Environment
I know what makes the treerings from Siberia to the Rockies tick
And I can make spaghetti and transform it to a hockeystick.
My data’s got dark matter that would shatter a cosmologist
I am the very model of a modern climatologist.

And what started it: Reader Dreadnought has been moved to poetry:

I met a traveller from a distant shire
Who said: A vast and pointless shaft of steel
Stands on a hill top… Near it, in the mire,
Half sunk, a shattered turbine lies, whose wheels
And riven blades and snarls of coloured wire
Tell that its owners well their mission read
Which did not last nor, nowhere to be seen,
The hand that paid them and the empty head.
And scrawled around the base these lines are clear:
‘My name is Millibandias, greenest Green.
Look on my works, ye doubters, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round this display
Of reckless cost and loss, blotless and fair,
The green and pleasant landscape rolls away.

There’s hope for Blighty yet.

Expanding the Ammo Ban – what they will try in Your State next

In an effort to destroy Liberty and enslave a large part of the Nation under a banner of communal collectivism, our gang of smug idiots in Sacramento, the Assembly Public Safety Committee, has decided on an illegal and backdoor means to derail the 2nd Amendment by registering ammunition owners. Assembly Bill 2062.

On March 25th a bunch of cretins who can’t budget themselves out of a wet paper bag will consider legislation that would require gun owners to submit to a background check, pay a $35 fee, wait as long as 30 days to receive a “permit-to-purchase” before buying handgun ammunition, and impose severe restrictions on the private transfers of handgun ammunition including criminalizing monthly limits and transfers, even between family members – which I’m pretty sure means spouses too.

Under this vastly expanded Reach of Gubbmint Bureaucracy, permit-holder “Vendors” (ammunition owners, really) would be required to contact the purchase-permit database to verify the validity of a permit before completing a sale or transfer. All ammunition sales in the State of California would be subject to a $3 per transaction tax, and mail order ammunition sales would be prohibited. Any violator of AB2062 would be subject to civil fines.

You can thank State Assembly Member Kevin De Leon (D-45) for the crock of rotting, stinking, festering unmitigated gall-brain-bladder that is Assembly Bill 2062, that puts ammunition sales in jeopardy and ownership at Criminal risk.

Feel free to contact these guys to complain:

State Assembly Member Jose Solorio (D-69), Chair
(916) 319-2069

State Assembly Member Greg Aghazarian, (R-26), Vice Chair
(916) 319-2026

State Assembly Member Joel Anderson (R-77)
(916) 319-2077

State Assembly Member Hector De La Torre (D-50)
(916) 319-2050

State Assembly Member Fiona Ma (D-12)
(916) 319-2012

State Assembly Member Anthony J. Portantino (D-44)
(916) 319-2044

IPSC Sock Puppets Profiteers

From .:DANEgerus we get a listing of the Global Hoaxing “hedge”-fund profiteers. Interstingly enough (or not surprisingly, or sadly enough) Governments that have signed-on to the IPCC Kyoto scam have opened the floodgates to various tidy Lefty investment strategies and profits to be reaped (or is that raped), from taxpayers who are left with no recourse and very likely future criminal penalties for individual noncompliance.
Don’t be too surprised, some of the richest people in the world are Communists and they didn’t get that way by the sweat of their OWN brow…

* Richard Tipper of the Edinburgh Centre for Carbon Management (ECCM), a consulting company deriving revenue from carbon-absorption forestry projects. According to Ecotopia, “ECCM works closely with Future Forests… Tipper helped form ECCM some months after being appointed to the LULUCF panel.”

* Mark Trexler, a founder of Trexler & Associates, a pioneering firm “poised to make millions of dollars by promoting and monitoring carbon sequestration and other ‘climate mitigation’ projects.”

* Pedro Moura-Costa, an executive of Ecosecurities Ltd., a consulting firm specializing in the “generation of Emission Reduction Credits” from carbon-offseting activities. Ecosecurities has offices in the US, the UK, Brazil, Australia and The Netherlands.

* Gareth Philips of SGS Forestry, a division of the Societe Generale de Surveillance (SGS) of Geneva, the world’s largest inspection, auditing and testing company. SGS Forestry derives revenue from its carbon forestry projects. SGS certifies Costa Rica’s carbon offsets and “hopes to expand its work.”

* Sandra Brown of Winrock International, an Arkansas-based organization which accepts contracts from “public and private” sources. Winrock “provides forest carbon monitoring technical services to U.S. government agencies and a wide range of private sector and non-governmental organizations. “

* Peter Hill of Monsanto Corporation, which has a “large stake in genetically modified organisms, including, potentially, organisms modified to take up or store carbon more efficiently.”…

The World Rainforest Movement investigated these bizarre financial ties and concluded that the IPCC report “must now be shelved due to their clear conflict of interest and a new report instigated which will be free of the taint of intellectual corruption.”


In April 2007 an investigation by the Financial Times of the carbon offsets industry reported:

* Widespread instances of people and organizations buying worthless credits that do not yield any reductions in carbon emissions.

* Industrial companies profiting from doing very little – or from gaining carbon credits on the basis of efficiency gains from which they have already benefited substantially.

* Brokers providing services of questionable or no value.

* A shortage of verification, making it difficult for buyers to assess the true value of carbon credits.

* Companies and individuals being charged over the odds for the private purchase of European Union carbon permits that have plummeted in value because they do not result in emissions cuts.

Algore’s gettin’ rich, a bunch of UN-connected dudes are scamming for all they’re worth (as per-usual) and gettin’ rich, and the UN club-for-dictators announces even scarier booga-booga! NEWS, to drive more sheep into the shearing pen.

As Phil Valentine at the Tennessean notes:

..Global warming is the perfect template for Marxism because it’s the great equalizer. The wealthier a nation, the more CO2 it produces. To atone for its sins, it must pay carbon offsets. In other words, the producing nations pay the non-producing or under-producing nations in cash for the sin of emitting a harmless gas. It’s beautiful.

The global warming movement is a way to not just confiscate money and wealth from the producers, but because of their guilt, they gladly hand it over. If Karl Marx were still alive, he’d be beaming with pride.

GlobaLawsuit Whoremining Brown-on-Brown HOT Legal XXX action

This from Injsty, a report in the San Diego Union-Tribune vindicating the Federal Court’s up-chuckign of the regurgitated nonsense-suite against automakers.

Last summer and fall, I had an in-person interview and two phone interviews with a brilliant Yale Law School graduate who thought little of the global warming lawsuit against six automakers pushed by then-California Attorney General Bill Lockyer.

Among the things he told me:

1) “One of the principles of tort law is that damages should not be speculative,” so Lockyer’s lawsuit failed that very simple test.

2) He wondered how Lockyer’s suit could assert “causation” between vehicle emissions and the size of California’s mountain snowpacks.

3) There was an urgent need to do something about global warming, but seeking national and international cooperation on the issue made a lot more sense than a lawsuit.

Yesterday, a federal judge vindicated the brilliant Yale-educated lawyer’s take on Lockyer’s lawsuit.

“The kicker, of course, is that the Yale-educated lawyer who ridiculed Lockyer’s lawsuit to me was Jerry Brown — who either lied to me back then or changed his mind later when he saw being an anti-global-warming crusader as his ticket back to the governor’s office in 2010. He embraced Lockyer’s lawsuit as his own even though he doubted its wisdom, because he believed it to be a political winner.”
Har-har-har. Politicians crapping in the Public trough.

Global Geology Goracle Gorming

We are doomed, say climate change scientists associated with the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the United Nations body that is organizing most of the climate change research occurring in the world today.
Carbon dioxide from man-made sources rises to the atmosphere and then stays there for 50, 100, or even 200 years. This unprecedented buildup of CO2 then traps heat that would otherwise escape our atmosphere, threatening us all.


“This is nonsense,” says Tom V. Segalstad, head of the Geological Museum at the University of Oslo and formerly an expert reviewer with the same IPCC. He laments the paucity of geologic knowledge among IPCC scientists — a knowledge that is central to understanding climate change, in his view, since geologic processes ultimately determine the level of atmospheric CO2.

Catastrophic theories of climate change depend on carbon dioxide staying in the atmosphere for long periods of time — otherwise, the CO2 enveloping the globe wouldn’t be dense enough to keep the heat in. Until recently, the world of science was near-unanimous that CO2 couldn’t stay in the atmosphere for more than about five to 10 years because of the oceans’ near-limitless ability to absorb CO2. “This time period has been established by measurements based on natural carbon-14 and also from readings of carbon-14 from nuclear weapons testing, it has been established by radon-222 measurements, it has been established by measurements of the solubility of atmospheric gases in the oceans, it has been established by comparing the isotope mass balance, it has been established through other mechanisms, too, and over many decades, and by many scientists in many disciplines.”

Then, with the advent of IPCC-influenced science, the length of time that carbon stays in the atmosphere became controversial. Climate change scientists began creating carbon cycle models to explain what they thought must be an excess of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. These computer models calculated a long life for carbon dioxide.

In the real world, as measurable by science, CO2 in the atmosphere and in the ocean reach a stable balance when the oceans contain 50 times as much CO2 as the atmosphere. “The IPCC postulates an atmospheric doubling of CO2, meaning that the oceans would need to receive 50 times more CO2 to obtain chemical equilibrium,” explains Prof. Segalstad. “This total of 51 times the present amount of carbon in atmospheric CO2 exceeds the known reserves of fossil carbon — it represents more carbon than exists in all the coal, gas, and oil that we can exploit anywhere in the world.”

Read it.

Hegemonic EcoLeftists

In his “Death To Heretics” post Hegemonic Pundit warns of the nature of pseudo-scientific “consensus” just as villagers with pitchforks and torches rally at the castle walls of Civilization.

Religious fervor, gross error, and political zealotry all add up to one thing: danger. For believers, global warming is one of those issues which transcends scrutiny. All opposition is to be swept away, shouted down, shunned, demonized, and suppressed. Scientists who disagree with ‘the consensus’ might as well look for another job.

Like most cargo-cults, Globular Warmingists has as it’s ritual the ornamentation, the look of something but without that thing’s complex internal operation and function. It is Science Quack with the feathers and the call, but the duck doesn’t walk or fly or do duck things.
Leftism is consensus driven, and the Left has proven time and again with History repeating, that they will kill whomever disagrees until a consensus is reached. From Stalin to Mao and from Che Guevara to Pol-Pot, it is a demand of the Collective, an imperative that must be obeyed – and it’s hardly how Science operates.
To advance The Cause in the past the Left typically took to robbing banks where the stupid, unenlightened, “Not-Reality-Based” Petty Bourgeoisie store their ill-gotten Gaia-raping hordes of money. But in this modern age of leveraged buy-outs and sophisticated financial instruments and investment opportunities, to advance the pseudo-Scientific Religion they have created another funding method.
Much like the cargo-cult Scientism that drapes the shroud of Globulistical Warmillusion, the clever but economically ignorant True Green-Believers have created ecoCargonomics. It’s a kind of freelance, pyramidical, undocumented, laissez-faire off-shoot of accounting.
Following religious doctrine and now available for purchase are Carbon-Offset Eco-Credits. Greendulgent Carbon Offsets are new financial instruments, purchasable through Generation Investment Management, a purveyor of fine-feelings and smug assurances for the Eco-Faithful who must not be overly inconvenienced in their Eco-Buying Power.
This is an instrument of Faith as well as (pseudo)Science and (pseudo)Economics – it is an investment in the Future. Do it for the Children.
The Leadership leads the flock to prayer and to shearing – the insturment is a pair of scissors. Al Gore not only uses 20 time more power than the average American household at his 20-room, eight-bathroom home in Nashville, to offset his gargantuan carbon footprint he also buys his massive offsets from Generation Investment Management. Conveniently and as the popular financial strategy goes, “Pay Yourself First,” to prove his Faith he is not only a consumer of this specially Eco-tailored line of investment instruments, he is also the Chairman of Generation Investment Management. It is, as Al Gore himself says, “a remarkable area of innovation“… In the old days people made graven images of Baal and Mammon, maybe those are the Wall Street symbols of bull and bear today. Whatever the case, Mammon (and Caesar) are still to be served.
In closing Hegemonic Pundit says,

Offending the gods is not a new concept either. This is the basic argument of global warming advocates. We have offended the gods and they now demand a sacrifice.

Or as the freelance-Socialist mugger on the street might also say, “Your economy or your life.”

Go Carbon! Go Carbon!

I’m a carbon-based lifeform and proud of it – I don’t hate myself anyhow. According to The Economist, the Neo-medieval practice of buying Eco-Papal Greendulgences – commonly referred to by The Goracle and other tree-hugging Greenweenies and EcoTaliban as “Carbon Offsets” – it is teh boomerang:

If you are salving your conscience by buying carbon offsets, which allows you to cheerfully emit 20 times more than the average person, then even a conservatively estimated rebound effect means that carbon offsets are increasing the amount of emissions.

Har-har-har – Go carbon! Go carbon!

Global Warmering

We have a little pond outside our balcony upon which this morning were some interesting ice-formations. We don’t usually get this kind of ice-producing cold that we’ve been experiencing lately, all due to global warming.

Still I prefer the impending climate of Hawaiian-proportions that we are told by His Majestic Scientific Eminence AlGore is rapidly approaching, Praise Be to Him for the Internet which He invented.

It does get cold here and usually during these months of January and February, and in the past few years we’ve had snow on both mountain ranges to either side of Silicon Valley – but we should be back to the mid 70’s soon enough. I remember it snowed once when I was a kid some forty-plus years ago – just as expertly predicted by the guys writing books about the coming Ice Age. They sure rode that wave of scientific triumph and certitude all the way to the bank.

I’m sure that soft tropical breezes will be blowing-in at any moment, and with them the scent of gardenias and plumeria will fill the garden. Ripe bananas will become the export crop of the future as we paddle environmentally sensitive hemp-bark canoes from islet to islet in the Great California Archipelago, trading our holistic wares of friendship-beads and chanting the friendly kum-ba-jah of Oil-Freedom that Bob Marley sang about. Jah Ire and pass the dutchie mon, Science be kind to you.
“I’m ready for my Luau now, Mr. Algore…”