Bug-Out Bags Past & Present

I turned in the shower this morning, adjusting the bucket beneath my feet that collects body run-off gray water for the yard and plants, and something went *SprOOing!* HUH? Aw shit. It’s not my usual lower-back dork-up, it’s in a whole new spot on the right upper hip axis. I am reminded (again, dammit) that I am closer to 60 than 40, and that my bug-out bag’s role, conditions, and environment is changing. I’ve been doing a lot of squat and lift stuff with heavy rocks and feel great, my arms have never been stronger and more sinewy – but there’s always a tingle in the right knee when I turn direction or just get into bed. The Glucosamine-Chondroitin has a great placebo effect…
As a Brahmin-born BayAryan I was concerned in the past about The Earthquake being THE bug-out trigger event. Now that we live in Tinderland in the midst of a bone-dry drought, it’s Fire (and water) I’m worried about. But the bug-out bags are only getting heavier, and any much more and my wife won’t be able to carry hers.
As age and mobility issues arise, I realize that the two of us I can’t get very far with the whole “Gunny-Alternative REI ground-pounder” kind of backpacker shit. Maybe I need a bug-out vehicle rather than a hiking stick and a soon-to-be 90-lb Kelty pack – and that’s before I even pick up a rifle and ammo. One that can run the Rubicon Trail just over the hill? Some kind of spidery, rock-hopper rig that clings to granite and can make its own trail. Nothing with a rear-view camera to help drunk hipsters in city parking. Decisions, decisions…
We escaped to the hills from the clotted crowds of ugly city-suburban people, but maybe we didn’t get far enough. Anybody coming up here to escape the Upcoming Apoclypse/Maelstrom/Collapse will be in vehicles confined to a narrow asphalt ribbon, and maybe I should learn something about explosive so we locals can drop a couple of the freeway overpasses in order to impede the Hipster escape traffic. I understand from vague reports that there’s already a crew of guys like that in Arizona who are ready for the crowds streaming out of California on the southern freeway in the event of worse: .300 Win-Mag/.338 Lapua kinda stoppit-now sniper guys.
Also, while I was previously working on the Med-kit with a concentration on wound-issue stuff, but I now wonder if there’s a fire-bandage equivalent of QuikClot…? If not there should be.
UPDATE: Thanks for everybody’s feedback and comments, especially about the burn-gel impregnated bandages! Awesome!

About NotClauswitz

The semi-sprawling adventures of a culturally hegemonic former flat-lander and anti-idiotarian individualist, fleeing the toxic cultural smug emitted by self-satisfied lotus-eating low-land Tesla-driving floppy-hat wearing lizadroid-Leftbat Califorganic eco-tofuistas ~

13 thoughts on “Bug-Out Bags Past & Present

  1. “…maybe I should learn something about explosive so we locals can drop a couple of the freeway overpasses in order to impede the Hipster escape traffic.”

    Do tell. When I was a member of the State Reserves, we at times ran disaster response cpx’s (command post exercise = scenario simulated on paper) at various northern California NG armories. Some of them were written around Bay Area earthquakes, fires, whatever. When asked what my first action would be, I replied (to make the obvious point, and only half joking) “Well sir, I’d blow the Carquinez and Benicia bridges.”

    On a more practical note, keep diaper rash cream in mind as a topical for burns.


  2. Like you, I’m getting too old to think about “bugging out” with my possessions on my back. 8 heart surgeries, bad ankles, bad back, etc. But there have been times when staying home wasn’t a great idea, either. Tsunamis here in Hawaii have forced me out of the house twice, and a neighborhood fire another time. How to carry my BOB without killing myself?

    A little off the wall, but how about a Honda Ruckus (or 2, one each for you and the wife)? Honda utility scooter equipped with wide, semi-knobby “Motard” style tires for street or dirt, weight under 200lbs, cost about a grand used (new MSRP about $2750, but I’ve seen them new at the dealer for under $2k), 3.5 hp so not freeway legal in most places, but more than enough “umph!” to get you and 100 lbs of gear anywhere you want to go. 1.3 gal fuel capacity gives about 140 mile range with a bit of a reserve, and they can be refilled for couch change.

    My wife is a life member of HOG but isn’t comfortable riding a motorcycle any more, but she loves these. We borrowed a friend’s pair of them in Eastern Oregon a couple years ago for donking around on backcountry trails, and we had a BALL. Even brought our gear and camped out with them one night. Centrifugal clutch, no shifting, twist to go, squeeze to stop. Two of them fit in the bed of a compact pickup, or you can put one on a hitch rack. Another friend of ours puts his in his travel trailer so he has simple, cheap transportation when he goes camping. His kids are constantly on it. Unlike an ATV/UTV or a golf cart, these are street legal.

    The body is not plastic or fiberglass, but tube steel. Has a cargo area under the seat. Steel bars around critical components. Double, high output headlights. Did I mention 115 MPG? Also, HONDA! They are unbelievably reliable, and east to work on and repair or upgrade. When I visit the Big Island of Hawaii, these are the most common scooters around. I think all the dirt roads and trails have a lot to do with it.

    When we retire to our house in Reno, there will be two of these in the garage.



    • Yay Monkey-Bike!! My younger girl-cousin had a gold Trail-70 at my Uncle’s cabin in Tahoe as a kid – this year she turned 50 and rode a Triumph up the St. Lawrence river in Canada. OMG we’re all getting older dammit…
      The Ruckus looks like it could pull a golf-cart trailer loaded with bug-out gear, and my golf bag will actually accommodate an AR-15 with the pins pulled. I don’t have a trials bike anymore, but that could fit the gap. Also you could probably hook it up to run a generator or some-such off the rear tire/axle. And it’s a HONDA~!
      Which Island are you on? 🙂 We have not yet hit the mountain passes this year on the BMW (soon I hope), but the Gunblogger Rendezvous *is* held in Reno and we’ll be going…


    • My cousin used to have a Trail 90, and that’s how I learned to ride a motorbike. I LOVED that thing! These are totally different in style and construction, but very similar in spirit. Not enough power to get in too much trouble, not going to get your adrenaline redlined, but will probably get you anywhere you want to go if you are determined to get there.

      My motorcycle days are behind me now (thanks to Plavix I’d bleed out pretty fast from a minor ding), but I am going to pick up a couple of these. 30 mph cruising and 3.5 hp probably won’t get me in trouble like my R100 GS PD or my old XR-500 desert racer would.

      And, yes, there was a generator mod I saw on some forum or another. I’m sure the magic Bingle engine could find one.

      I never thought of towing a cart with one, but it shouldn’t be a problem. The folks at Rokon have a HUGE trailer they tow behind their bike, and it’s only a 5hp.

      I’m on Oahu (Honolulu), the one with all the people. We get on the airlines and head to Reno as often as we can, but only there about once a year for fun. Other trips are to work on our retirement rental houses there. Gunblogger Rendezvous would be a great trip. Suppose they’d let me in?



    • We caught a Costco Vacation trip to Turtle Bay a couple years ago when (oops!) Obama and Michelle were on the Island for some big Pan-Pacific International wing-ding obstructing traffic everywhere, and I took a surfing lesson (I’m bad) with the Canadian PM’s kids and their security detail – very interesting! I suck, and paddling out I pulled a muscle in my chest! Still managed to stand up a few times and ride into shore, but it’s a hard sport since the salty fluid offers little in the way of actual support.
      The Gunblogger Rendezvous is (in September, at the Crystal Legacy) and is welcome and open to anybody who even reads gun-blogs, including semi-gun/yardwork/BS blogs like mine. 😉
      I’m hoping to get over to Minden or Gardnerville when we go back up to Tahoe in August, for a non-resident Nevada CCW Class, but I probably won’t receive the papers by Sept. Anyhow check-out the website for more details. Besides a few range-trips there’s a lot of gun-jawing that takes place, as bad as any motorcycle gathering or WD40 thread… In retirement it could be even more fun, or at least a time-waster. 🙂


  3. Actually, when it comes to extra-heavy bugout bags, I wonder why the owner doesn’t include some sort of wheeled conveyance, like the carts used to pack deer out of the wilderness. Even the sort of cart used to carry a golf bag could be pressed into service in a pinch.


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