Adventures in Forestry

 Motion translation arrangement for limiting the rate of lever arm convergence in an exercise machine United States Patent 6682466 Inventors: Ellis, Patrick D. (Milwaukee, WI)

Motion translation arrangement for limiting the rate of lever arm convergence in an exercise machine United States Patent 6682466 Inventors: Ellis, Patrick D. (Milwaukee, WI)

Yesterday we got busy with our New Year’s Fitness Training Regimen (not really, if you know me!), and I did a bunch of upper-body reps by yanking on the cord of a pole trimmer, while the Retired Adjutant General applied a Chest Butterfly Machine type motion to a pair of large loping shears. We set to and began decimating the canopy of the fruitless purple plum tree in the front yard. By decimating I mean the proper usage of the term: one-in-ten branches were attacked. Ultimately we whacked-it good approaching a double-decimation (two-in-ten) of the many spidery “waterspouts” that were sent up – and then we did more arm-work today in two AM/PM sessions on the level of a triple-decimation – giving it a serious haircut. It’s good to get out in the fresh air and work up a sweat, and temps were in the upper Sixties and clear on the granite outcropping. Little planes flew in overhead as they lined-up over the garage on the glide path.
Since it’s prior-lifestyle and previous-owner’s trimming directions (or lack of direction), the tree does nothing but present a round red lollipop to passers-by. It was trimmed into an arboreal afro, and the low branches offer no useful shade in the summer and actually very little screening since the nearby divided-road is a good twenty feet below, and the other, opposite direction passes even further away. Anybody who seeks a view must crane their necks upwards, which is unlikely in a car anyhow. Following its afro-haircut, the subsequent growth was a thickly intertwined bramble of large twisted branches that shot across in every direction criss-crossing each other, and with some leaning on each other, weighted by a vertical mass of up-shoots – that had to stop. Besides, it was starting to obscure the wonderful views off into the distance and the bright red sunsets. This is a hard pruning.

After today’s AM workout we dropped-off donations of various sorts at Snowline Hospice and then went for a drive in The Country. We followed North Shingle Road to a jog onto Green Valley, and then continued onto winding Lotus Road until we passed Sutter’s Mill School at Gold Hill Road. About five minutes later we reached Highway 49 in Coloma and the digging site of Sutter’s Mill – the gold-discovery state-park. Highway 49 is an awesome-easy roller-coaster road from one end to the other, from the north-end high up at Vinton and Highway 70 (the awesome Feather River Canyon run), all the way down to Oakhurst in the Southern Sierra foothills – and we’re going to have some great rides after the bike-shopping is done…

Careful. there's a cliff back there.

Careful. there’s a cliff back there.

Anyhow, we followed 49 back into Hangtown, and then got on the freeway (Hwy 50) to home, where I passed a deep-purple Lamborghini Murciélago that merged beside us. Nice ride, limited view of other people’s ankles out the low windows I can only imagine. As a kid returning from India, when we drove the VW Microbus through the Alps in ’69, I will ALWAYS remember seeing a sexy gorgeous yellow Miura on the French side, and have a distant/distinct fondness for the brand – but the new offerings don’t really trip my buzz-meter any more.

UPDATE: Oww-oww! Oww-oww! Ibupriofen is my old, under-utilized muscles’ friend. Cut and sawed s’more in the AM before it gets hot, and then after lunch loaded up the truck and covered it in a cargo-net.

About NotClauswitz

The semi-sprawling adventures of a culturally hegemonic former flat-lander and anti-idiotarian individualist, fleeing the toxic cultural smug emitted by self-satisfied lotus-eating low-land Tesla-driving floppy-hat wearing lizadroid-Leftbat Califorganic eco-tofuistas ~

5 thoughts on “Adventures in Forestry

    • I must confess that I played various sports in order to avoid ~any~ indoor gym-type activity whatsoever, and have never been able to get involved in workouts unless it was some form of protracted play like, swimming (freestyle crawl, backstroke) & water-polo (a semi-orchestrated fight), soccer (running around/falling down/bashing legs) or even fencing (lunges) – and dirtbike-riding (upper-body/arm-pump/leg-pump/crashing)…


  1. That stretch of 140 from Merced to where it joins 49 was pretty nice driving, as I recall, but the stretch from there to Oakhurst was dicey in the dark.

    I got the seriously rude awakening the next day (or so I thought) on the way into Yosemite; the yellow line had to be followed so closely that I couldn’t even acknowledge the shear drops that were inches away on the right. The locals honked at my pace and sped passed when one of those relief pull-offs let me get out of the way.

    The real kick in the pants was on the way out of King’s Canyon, a couple of days later. There is a stretch of 198 on the south end that takes about an hour and a half to go 17 miles, starting about General Sherman’s Tree. White knuckles the whole way.

    From Three Rivers (looked like a bit of a backwater) out beyond Lake Kaweah, the road and scenery were spectacular, late spring/late afternoon sun, perfect weather, finally dumping us out at Exeter, with the orange blossoms in full bloom.


    I’d love to do some more of that kind of thing out your way before I kick the bucket.


    • Driving along some of the ridges can get a bit squeaky-narrow, but it was the only and main north-south road through the diggins. I like the northern part more, myself.


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