Man of La Mancha – a Dream

I dreamed I was gearing-up for an Enduro race.  All the AA-riders had already left the paddock/impound yard and I was alone except for a few friends. Like a medieval knight I had my buddy Pete giving assistance donning my kit: armored shorts, knee high socks, shin-armor, tough pants, giant (Italian of course) boots, kidney belt and jersey, roost protector. I was sitting high on my bike which was up on the stand, while he attended to me — but more like Don Quixote than Sir Gwaine or even the Red Knight. I kept slipping off the KTM’s seat AND pieces of my kit kept breaking apart. The gear-belt with tools broke, but Pete quickly determined that two bolts would hold it together. My pants fell down – but suspenders fixed that.  My roost-protector kept coming un-buckeled and the elbow guards fell off.  My jersey was on backwards.  The thick knee-high socks had pulled through the feet – I looked like I was wearing some kind of demented 80’s Flash-dancer leggings over my giant Frankenstein boots. The only thing missing was a Garand bandoleer and a few guns in holsters…
The race was set to begin from a sandy spot on the road parallel to the beach, and head inland up the mountains – and the start-line was by the Sierra Club headquarters. They were very angry and seeking to stop the race, asking the cops to stop the event. And the event was stopped. But the first wave of riders had already left, and the rest were uninterested in NOT riding – so it would go on as an un-sanctioned ride. That left me a bit of time to square-away my gear and rig. I hoped that my old blown-out and un-packed FMF muffler would pass sound inspection, but still be super-loud, enough to annoy the Sierra Club’s HQ as I passed by in a belching cloud of blue smoke and *Brapp!  Braaapp!  Ka-Ting-Ting-Ting!* of the mighty two-stroke stinkwheel.
I was running out of time to get to the start on my minute, when I awoke.
I rolled over and out of bed, and every joint and muscle ached. I felt like I had already run the actual race during my sleep. What the hell did I do yesterday, tilt at windmills? Sheeze. Time to hit the Glucosamine and Ibuprofen…


About NotClauswitz

The semi-sprawling adventures of a culturally hegemonic former flat-lander and anti-idiotarian individualist, fleeing the toxic cultural smug emitted by self-satisfied lotus-eating low-land Tesla-driving floppy-hat wearing lizadroid-Leftbat Califorganic eco-tofuistas ~

11 thoughts on “Man of La Mancha – a Dream

  1. not cool billy:

    consider suing the tow company for damage inflicted. For the most part, drivers aren’t trained in handling bikes, seldom have any special equipment for them, and unless they ride, have no idea what they are doing is harmful. Plus, they move bikes so seldom that they don’t really get any useful experience to build on. They look at a bike with mostly cosmetic body damage, figure it’s trashed, and wrap a chain around it and totally screw it up.
    To top it off, some drivers don’t care how much additional damage they might be doing while recovering a wreck of any sort. Those are the idiots that should be weeded out, but seldom are. No pride in good workmanship. I find it amazing that so many managers don’t understand this can be taking money away from them. If a driver does enough additional damage that it goes from repairable to totaled, he just took a job away from a body shop. Lots of towing companies are associated with body shops, so it’s really stupid.

  2. NFO, it could be worse. You could dream of being beaten with a stick, and then wake up a motorcycle.


    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

  3. If I were in the dream-interpretation business (which I ain’t, but I can’t resist the temptation to opine), I’d say you were replaying an allegory for your move out of the liberal ‘urbs and up to the sticks. However, there also appears to be feelings of not being entirely up to the task (of taking your fate in your hands and leaving your past entirely behind); hence the comedic element.
    But the wish to leave with a final “brap” (FU) to the drones represented by the Sierra Club and the Keystone Cops indicates a well-balanced resolve, so I have no worries that you’re actually bound for any tilting at windmills….
    BTW, I crashed my Buell and broke 8 ribs, so I REALLY know what it feels like to be sore.

    • OUCH! How’s the Buell? 😉 Thanks for the analysis, I broke four ribs once when I went out on the Motocross track at Carnegie and blew a corner. I really had no business being out there with the egg-carton jumpers on a trail-bike. I hope you’re recovering well – at my age now everything just takes so much longer to knit-up.

    • The Buell came out amazingly well. The bike was clearly designed to weather abuse well. Of course, the towing company pirates who shlepped it from the Bay Bridge to their ghetto hideout in East Oakland did almost as much damage as the crash did. (And charged me $1300 dollars for it!)
      Nonetheless, the whole experience was an eye-opener and a game-changer for me. I’m no spring chicken anymore and have some pretty serious familial commitments nowadays. And the bottom line is, I had no business riding a bike that would hoist the front end up in 3rd gear, at 70 mph, on throttle only, and hold it up right through 110-115 mph. Especially when I couldn’t resist doing it every time I rode it….
      (BTW, The 1125 was pooh-poohed by the sportbike press, probably because of the parent company (H-D, at the time), but also because their allegiance was with the advertising bucks and Buell wasn’t buying enough. Yet the truth is, with the “off-road only” ECM, the Rotax-powered 1125 as fast or faster than any other twin of the 2008-2010 vintage. Only the latest KTM RC-8 and Ducati 1198 are faster, and not by much.)
      Nevertheless, the hot-rod Buell is up for sale. It needs about $1500 in parts, which will make just it like new. But I don’t have the time, or the strength at this point, so it’s going as-is and somebody is going to get a very good deal on a very fast bike….

    • “Pirate Towing Company” indeed! My XR650L would lift the front but only at stoplights in 2nd gear. The KTM is a little better but I never mastered The Art of the Wheelie, and certainly not at those speeds. I was thinking about another street-bike for the Low Mountain Semi-Redoubt, but the thing about all the new bikes for me is (besides immense power) a return to all the weight. Even the relative 30-lb difference between the KTM (238lb/41.5hp) seems heavy now compared to the XR400 (264lb/33hp) I sold – and the XR650L (350lbs/40hp) was ^^totally^^ the Iron Pig by comparison…
      We don’t heal-up so fast these days…

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