Chimp Feet and Fruit Boots – Ow!

Long story made longer: A few months ago I took a shootin’ class, and I guess after the 2nd day on the all-concrete, my new boots’ insoles were as flat and as hard as the floor. No rest for the weary however, and we had a lot of packing for the Maui trip and then the usual carrying-around and up-and-down staircases of heavy objects from Costco (necessary cases of beer), for the regular consumption and more concrete was in the mix… So off to Paradise and nearly three weeks of pounding my 190lbs around on thin (pre-worn, but very high quality) Olu-Kai flip-flops, and upon return my dogs started barking. No rest for the wicked however and the usual demands continued with the excellent local weather accommodating further flip-flop apparel. Then BAM, after the load-out of goods and material up to the mountain redoubt, the BArKiNg got louder. So I switched to the Lowe slippers and recognized that their inherent frailty was the insole, and made recourse to a gel replacement version. Ahhh. But still, as light as they are they’re a bit much for everyday dress, so I went looking for some tennis shoes. Or something. OMG WTF is that thing!DSC01172DSC01174DSC01173DSC01171
I’m afraid I didn’t take a picture of the RED shoes, but Jebus, this isn’t OZ and I’m not Dorothy – do the Genious Markeyteers really want to eliminate a whole category of people from their purchase plans? There’s no way I’m coming home with any of these on my pins. My wife jokes about old men who wear enormous WHITE tennis shoes, some with velcro instead of laces, and I tried on a few of those too but there were not soft and comefy – and the fruit-colored Raspberry Sandwich-shoes and the Lime Jello Day-glo with Silver Streaks were not especially either… One helpful young lad advised that NONE of them had anything but crap for insoles, so I tied-on a pair goofy Halloween stompers and replaced the inadequate interior with a gel insert – and then my foot would no longer even fit in the pedicular contraption – I needed a size 13! OK, so try that – still no-go since the laces were only across the top of the arch and couldn’t expand sufficiently. Nevermind, I’m done with shoe-shopping for now and taking a day-off from pounding my feet flat. Maybe in the future the Geniuses who “design” shoes will return on a style-arc that encompasses my own preferences for self-embarrassment – after all there was a time back when “Earth Shoes” were the height of fashion, and being a Jr. High fashion-victim searching for a clue I actually had a pair of those godfawful stupid things.
Meanwhile still OW! (And it’s not the arches, it’s the ball or mounds or Metatarsal Bar that is/are tender and cries out for cushioning.)


About NotClauswitz

The semi-sprawling adventures of a culturally hegemonic former flat-lander and anti-idiotarian individualist, fleeing the toxic cultural smug emitted by self-satisfied lotus-eating low-land Tesla-driving floppy-hat wearing lizadroid-Leftbat Califorganic eco-tofuistas ~

15 thoughts on “Chimp Feet and Fruit Boots – Ow!

  1. What you need is a pair of those “Fivefinger” thingies, the ones with all five toes showing. And as a bonus, they ONLY come in ridiculous, neon color schemes….

  2. Merrills are GOOD! And I finally went with custom orthopedic inserts. Too many years of flight boots and concrete ramps have KILLED my feet. I’m now actually able to walk more than a half mile without my dogs screaming at me!!! Costly, but to my mind, WELL worth the effort!!!

  3. Based upon a recommendation, I got some black Sketchers that have arced soles a while back. They are the kind of shoes that used to be advertised as an exercise benefit – a claim which I think has been debunked. I disremember the product name, and they may be hard to find now.

    They look funny upon close inspection, and feel funny for a while when you wear them, but they are by far the most comfortable pair of shoes that I own..

  4. I hate shopping for shoes and boots. Main reason is because the older I get, the harder it is to find a toe-box that’s wide enough, without also getting too much heel slip, or the whole shoe being too wide. IIRC, this was part of the whole Earth Shoe thing — why aren’t there shoes shaped like actual feet? I’m about at the point where I won’t bother looking at anything but Keen, and maybe Merrel.

    • Exactly the shape problem – but Earth Shoes (the ones I had) had a negative heel that was lower than the toe and strained my calf. I have some Keene shoes and sandals, the shoes are light but the sandals are heavy! Maybe I’ll try Merrills…

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