Some social-fabulist at NPR wrote a post called, “You Are What You Hear: What Your Favorite Music Says About You” (which I’m not going to link to because NPR’s a bunch of Socialist-Statist assholes), about some Where-Britain-Used-to-Be collegiate “musicologist” named Eric Clarke. It received traction because it was printed-up first in the Left-wing tire-biter Brit-blatt The Grauniad , with the hugely self-important and titanically pretentious “project” title: “Six Songs of Me“ where you can “Think back over the soundtrack to your life.”
Well, I really don’t have one – not one that would register on this project-thing anyhow, and owning music has never meant that much to me.
I saved my lawn-mowing money to buy an AM/FM cassette player/recorder in Junior High, and recorded songs off the radio – but never once tuned to the AM dial, and never bought albums of any kind. I didn’t own a record-player until after CD’s were already popular, and didn’t own a CD-player until after everything went to iPods. Now I have an iPod and everything is on the Cloud – or iPhone – or some shit… Half the features of iTunes are totally useless to me. Anyhow, f*k it.
But for a meme-lark, I thought I’d give this ephemeral Lefty Musical Hoe-down a go, and see how far I get before Casey Jones runs this Train of Doom off the track… According to the nosepickers, the Categories in the form of Questions (CoQ) are:
1.) What was the first song you ever bought?
2.) What song always gets you dancing?
3.) What song takes you back to your childhood?
4.) What is your perfect love song?
5.) What song would you want at your funeral?
6.) Time for an encore. One last song that makes you, you.
1.) “Hey There Yogi Bear” – I actually bought this when I was six, if by “bought” you mean saved-up four cereal box-tops and stuffed them in a crudely lettered envelope, and used a quarter (from Mom) to cover shipping. I played it on the family Grundig record-player-thing. It came in a cardboard envelope, and I think it WAS the cardboard insert, with a thin layer of vinyl that had the grooves laid down – you had to separate it and destroy the envelope to release and play it. I really only liked the theme song, I’m a generalist – not the mushy stuff with Cindy Bear… But that doesn’t show up on the encyclopedia of songs or artists in any category. So it doesn’t count.
Ok, maybe what counts is my garbled version of “Inna Triggana Booganna, Baby – On your velvet throne” – for some reason that mis-heard lyric was tumbling around in my head very early on. But I never bought it – I don’t remember what I bought first.
2.) I don’t dance, really, please – but Dancing with Myself would be close to all the embarrassing and unsuccessful things I did back in the 80′s. I’m basically transparent, an obvious-man. Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins was pretty good back then too…
3.) Snoopy and the Red Baron was a big hit at Boarding School – the rest of the time was pretty wretched and I have successfully buried most of it and the awful hideousness of Jr. High.
4.) My first kissing-girlfriend was overseas. Mehbooba-Mehbooba from Sholay. The movie was a mess but this song was a standout.
5.) Funeral? I really can’t conceive of a song to serenade my corpse. It absolutely never occurred to me. Ok then, Ramble On.
6.) Moi? That’s so small minded – music that makes you-you? For a while it was maybe Dum Maro Dum, then there was the whole before-the-Berlin-Wall-fell Euro-Hipster Bowie phase with Nina Hagen and John Cale (Mercenaries) college stuff.
Sheesh, I’d like to live that down – or over. Who was that hipster chick Mick Jagger used to bonk – Marianne Faithful… Hmmm… How much of it is really ME though?
Nowdays it’s all Beach Boys and Tikiyaki Orchestra. Songs with no lyrics mostly.