Class Warfare Meme

Following Tam, I wandered over to Sonic Charmer at Rhymes With Cars & Girls to smarten-up and git me some edumacation. While there I chanced to drop a comment at Andrea’s Spleenville, where the meme-in-progress was being rendered with What color is your bubble?, who goes on a good tear and says:

Anyway, for your amusement, I’m going to answer RWCG-guy’s parodic takeoff on the test.

And I thought, “Hey, Likewise!” Somebody please score me because I went to California schools where they used us as New-Math guinea-pigs, and subsequently I can’t do the math.

But first my Certificata from Test-Ology Camp, and before I attempt to gather some cleverness together, first I have my say.:  UPDATE: bLAH-BLAH-bLAH

Moi?  Part of the New Upper Colostomy?  So, on to the fun part:

1. Ivy league? Went to one (or Stanford): 2 points. 0 or Oops 2 – does three Quarters at Stanford count as anything?  I am too close to the local Megaversity. 
2. # of Malcolm Gladwell books read? Who?  0
3. Best TV show in history? 0 – Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea! Sheesh, or Rat Patrol! The Wire? 2 points. The Sopranos? 1 point.  Never watched a single episode of either of those shows, don’t have/never had cable.  Is CableTV a prerequisite for Teh NEW Upper Class or a precursor for Teh Damned Lower Class – is it a Uniter or a Divider?
4. Complete the sentence: “The science is AMAZING!  VULCANOLOGY! ” Huh? Settled? 2 points. In: ? WTF? In ?? 1 point. 0 – I see what you’re trying to do there but it won’t work and you shouldn’t sneak in another UN Globular Whore-ming question.
5. (a) People drive too much (b) I live in a big city where PARKING is teh SUXXOR and car-robbery is rampant: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. 0 (c) Ride a motorcycle and be even more Elitist and Superior! Where’s my freakin’ Flying Car they promised, you call this The Future?
6. What’s there to do in K-Town? 0-k, K-whaa? Karaoke and Korean food: 2 points?? Korean food: 1 point?  Kolkatta on the Hoogly where the flying fishes play, and the sun comes up like thunder out of Burma ‘cross the Bay…
7. Name a sport that’s on the decline. 0 Baseball is a sport?  Don’t they play Baseball-games? As Hemingway said, Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports, all the others are games...
8. Zagat? Have it: 2 points. Know what it is: 1 point. 0 – Something to do with Android phones, or iPhones that all the rich (employed) assholes have?
9. I helped recommend my college friend for a job he/she got/got a job from a college friend’s recommendation.Both: 2 points. One: 1 point.  0 – I didn’t get any help (or was in a position to offer any) from College friends for anything, jobs or nuthin – and don’t have much connection with the ones I went to School with – I guess it didn’t “stick”.
10. Worse grades in college, Bush or Kerry? Bush: 2 points. I see what you’re doing there, but the premise of that question is flawed: 1 point. 0 – Kerry had ’em worse.
11. What’s the matter with: Wassamatta-U  Kansas? 2 points. That’s a sentence fragment: 1 point. I heard it was a book or something by an Edu-snoot.
12. Good reason for private elementary school for your kids? I believe class size/personalized attention is bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla anecdote about your own kid]: 2 points. I researched a lot of bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and an X% effect with an R^2 of [bla bla]: 1 point.  0 – Private Schools are good and necessary to counter and avoid the propaganda and dumbing-down of education that occurs in Teachers-Union Government Skools, but really you should get off your ass and Home-School like I was, partly anyhow.
13. Bush’s Brain: Yes I saw that documentary, what about it?: 2 points. Um, is dumb/damaged? (duh): 1 point. – 0 this question is a h8er.
14. (a) Approve of Obamacare (b) haven’t read it/pretty much don’t know the details at all: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. 0 – No. NEVER, there’s no excuse for it.
15. Sarah Palin would be a terrible President because she’s:Dumb and crazy: 2 points. Crazy: 1 point. 0 – She’s brilliant and all the rest is h8ter propaganda and some dork who thinks it’s not her child.
16. Name two Nobel Prize winners. Nobel, Barack Obama and Paul Krugman: 2 points. Barack Obama and (someone else): 1 point. Paul who? The Peace Prize Terrrorist Killer Obama? Heisenberg! Eugene O’Neill! No Nobel Prizes awarded between 1940 and 1943, wonder why, think maybe #OCCUPYNORWAY might have somethign to do with it?
17. After she graduates from grad school you’d be most pleased for your daughter to get a job at a: Nonprofit: 2 points. Hedge fund: 1 point. I don’t have any children. If I had them, I’d be pleased if they got a job anywhere that got them out of the house.
18. (a) Believe in Anthropogenic Global Warming (b) know nothing about climate modeling and have never studied let alone engaged in anything of the sort: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. No, it’s a fraud on an international scale that’s rapidly coming apart.
19. Podcast: This American Life: 2 points. Other NPR-related: 1 point. The Vicious Circle – only podcast I ever heard about – but I don’t listen to podcasts.
20. Fill in the blank: GUNBOAT Diplomacy! Smart: 2 points. Cowboy (as in “Bush’s Cowboy diplomacy”): 1 point. 0
21. Constitution and Obamacare: I don’t see how Obamacare can be unconstitutional: 2 points. I recognize the tension but I pretend not to and instead insist on arguing that Obamacare fits inside the Commerce Clause: 1 point. Didn’t we already have an Obamacare question?  It’s un-Constitutional and Illegal and WRONG.
22. Alexander Payne movie: Max Payne? Sideways: ?Quel? 2 points. Citizen Ruth: ?1 point. Never heard of him, don’t go to movies – saw Sideways on DVD.
23. (a) Cities are great because of all the cultural opportunities, like the symphony/museums/etc. (b) Don’t really go to the symphony/museums/etc.Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. Cities are places with stuff all gathered into one place, and the Military calls it a TARGET.  Bombs away!
24. A kind of tax we need more of: Pigouvian: 2 points. Value-added (or financial-transaction): 1 point. 0?? Pig-what?  LESS taxes of all kinds, taxes are STUPID.
25. Who’s dumber, a PhD or an MBA? MBA: 2 points. PhD: 1 point. A PhD with an MBA.  PhD’s generally are blockheads who stop thinking and can’t be taught anything more once the sheepskin hits their hot and sweaty little fist.

OK, I’m done – put a fork in me…