Following Tam, I wandered over to Sonic Charmer at Rhymes With Cars & Girls to smarten-up and git me some edumacation. While there I chanced to drop a comment at Andrea’s Spleenville, where the meme-in-progress was being rendered with What color is your bubble?, who goes on a good tear and says:
Anyway, for your amusement, I’m going to answer RWCG-guy’s parodic takeoff on the test.
And I thought, “Hey, Likewise!” Somebody please score me because I went to California schools where they used us as New-Math guinea-pigs, and subsequently I can’t do the math.
But first my Certificata from Test-Ology Camp, and before I attempt to gather some cleverness together, first I have my say.: UPDATE: bLAH-BLAH-bLAH
Moi? Part of the New Upper Colostomy? So, on to the fun part:
- Ivy league? Went to one (or Stanford): 2 points. 0 or Oops 2 – does three Quarters at Stanford count as anything? I am too close to the local Megaversity.
- # of Malcolm Gladwell books read? Who? 0
- Best TV show in history? 0 – Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea! Sheesh, or Rat Patrol! The Wire? 2 points. The Sopranos? 1 point. Never watched a single episode of either of those shows, don’t have/never had cable. Is CableTV a prerequisite for Teh NEW Upper Class or a precursor for Teh Damned Lower Class – is it a Uniter or a Divider?
- Complete the sentence: “The science is AMAZING! VULCANOLOGY! ” Huh? Settled? 2 points. In: ? WTF? In ?? 1 point. 0 – I see what you’re trying to do there but it won’t work and you shouldn’t sneak in another UN Globular Whore-ming question.
- (a) People drive too much (b) I live in a big city where PARKING is teh SUXXOR and car-robbery is rampant: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. 0 (c) Ride a motorcycle and be even more Elitist and Superior! Where’s my freakin’ Flying Car they promised, you call this The Future?
- What’s there to do in K-Town? 0-k, K-whaa? Karaoke and Korean food: 2 points?? Korean food: 1 point? Kolkatta on the Hoogly where the flying fishes play, and the sun comes up like thunder out of Burma ‘cross the Bay…
- Name a sport that’s on the decline. 0 Baseball is a sport? Don’t they play Baseball-games? As Hemingway said, Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports, all the others are games...
- Zagat? Have it: 2 points. Know what it is: 1 point. 0 – Something to do with Android phones, or iPhones that all the rich (employed) assholes have?
- I helped recommend my college friend for a job he/she got/got a job from a college friend’s recommendation.Both: 2 points. One: 1 point. 0 – I didn’t get any help (or was in a position to offer any) from College friends for anything, jobs or nuthin – and don’t have much connection with the ones I went to School with – I guess it didn’t “stick”.
- Worse grades in college, Bush or Kerry? Bush: 2 points. I see what you’re doing there, but the premise of that question is flawed: 1 point. 0 – Kerry had ’em worse.
- What’s the matter with: Wassamatta-U Kansas? 2 points. That’s a sentence fragment: 1 point. I heard it was a book or something by an Edu-snoot.
- Good reason for private elementary school for your kids? I believe class size/personalized attention is bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla anecdote about your own kid]: 2 points. I researched a lot of bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla and an X% effect with an R^2 of [bla bla]: 1 point. 0 – Private Schools are good and necessary to counter and avoid the propaganda and dumbing-down of education that occurs in Teachers-Union Government Skools, but really you should get off your ass and Home-School like I was, partly anyhow.
- Bush’s Brain: Yes I saw that documentary, what about it?: 2 points. Um, is dumb/damaged? (duh): 1 point. – 0 this question is a h8er.
- (a) Approve of Obamacare (b) haven’t read it/pretty much don’t know the details at all: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. 0 – No. NEVER, there’s no excuse for it.
- Sarah Palin would be a terrible President because she’s:Dumb and crazy: 2 points. Crazy: 1 point. 0 – She’s brilliant and all the rest is h8ter propaganda and some dork who thinks it’s not her child.
- Name two Nobel Prize winners. Nobel, Barack Obama and Paul Krugman: 2 points. Barack Obama and (someone else): 1 point. Paul who? The Peace Prize Terrrorist Killer Obama? Heisenberg! Eugene O’Neill! No Nobel Prizes awarded between 1940 and 1943, wonder why, think maybe #OCCUPYNORWAY might have somethign to do with it?
- After she graduates from grad school you’d be most pleased for your daughter to get a job at a: Nonprofit: 2 points. Hedge fund: 1 point. I don’t have any children. If I had them, I’d be pleased if they got a job anywhere that got them out of the house.
- (a) Believe in Anthropogenic Global Warming (b) know nothing about climate modeling and have never studied let alone engaged in anything of the sort: Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. No, it’s a fraud on an international scale that’s rapidly coming apart.
- Podcast: This American Life: 2 points. Other NPR-related: 1 point. The Vicious Circle – only podcast I ever heard about – but I don’t listen to podcasts.
- Fill in the blank: GUNBOAT Diplomacy! Smart: 2 points. Cowboy (as in “Bush’s Cowboy diplomacy”): 1 point. 0
- Constitution and Obamacare: I don’t see how Obamacare can be unconstitutional: 2 points. I recognize the tension but I pretend not to and instead insist on arguing that Obamacare fits inside the Commerce Clause: 1 point. Didn’t we already have an Obamacare question? It’s un-Constitutional and Illegal and WRONG.
- Alexander Payne movie: Max Payne? Sideways: ?Quel? 2 points. Citizen Ruth: ?1 point. Never heard of him, don’t go to movies – saw Sideways on DVD.
- (a) Cities are great because of all the cultural opportunities, like the symphony/museums/etc. (b) Don’t really go to the symphony/museums/etc.Both: 2 points. (a) only: 1 point. Cities are places with stuff all gathered into one place, and the Military calls it a TARGET. Bombs away!
- A kind of tax we need more of: Pigouvian: 2 points. Value-added (or financial-transaction): 1 point. 0?? Pig-what? LESS taxes of all kinds, taxes are STUPID.
- Who’s dumber, a PhD or an MBA? MBA: 2 points. PhD: 1 point. A PhD with an MBA. PhD’s generally are blockheads who stop thinking and can’t be taught anything more once the sheepskin hits their hot and sweaty little fist.
OK, I’m done – put a fork in me…